Father, speak peace over me

The last few days have been HARD. Like, really hard. Yesterday especially, I felt like I lost all hope. I felt engulfed in fear. It was such a struggle to not let everything bring me down. I lost to worry yesterday. Oh the worries. The unknown. Will I never be able to have kids? Will I have to wait another year or more? It hurts so badly. So badly do I want to hold my baby in my arms. I want to experience the love of a mother. Yesterday evening I just wept and wept and wept because it physically hurt in my gut how much I wanted a baby. I just felt hopeless and EMPTY.

Today is a new day, and His mercies are new every morning. I didn't wake up feeling awesome, I still don't felt awesome, but I spent my day intentionally reading words of truth, listening to music, and taking some time to get outside with ruby and lay in the sun. It's by no means a "cure all" remedy, but as I lay here in the grass, I am made aware of how completely needy I am for my Father. I have no strength to question and ponder anymore, no strength to talk to Him, but I can lay here and allow his peace to not only wash over me, but to enter inside me and fill me.

This song

is helping me deeply today.

"Father, Your peace surpasses everything

All thoughts and understanding

As I trust upon your name

And even on this ocean

With the waves all crashing over and around me

I will put my trust in your love

For your voice has stilled the savagest of storms

So let your voice that stills the raging seas speak over me

Lord let your voice that stills the raging seas speak over me.

Lord let your voice that stills the raging seas speak over me.

Lord let your voice that stills the raging seas speak over me.

Lord let your voice that stills the raging seas speak over me.

Lord let your voice that stills the raging seas speak over me.

Speak peace

Speak peace

Speak peace

Speak peace"

Love,

R